Family and Children Center Counseling and Developing Services, is a place where several people can come to of or when they’re in need of help, whether voluntary or involuntary. Sometimes all they need is someone who will take the time to listen, and understand what they’re going through. That’s what the therapist and employees of F&CC aim to do.
When you walk in The Family and Children Center in South Bend, you may first hear the laughter of the employees and clients, or it just may be a day when everyone is stressed out and tired, just ready for their head to meet their pillows.
This the case on that Wednesday night as therapist Michelle Haas prepared for her final therapy session of the night.
Michelle had just come from a cigarette break with her coworker. Smoking seems to relieve them for a small period of time. The two women quickly smoked their cigarettes as they discussed the events that took place earl that evening, as well as other coworker. Realizing that their two minutes had quickly come to an end, the two quickly rushed back to their offices.
Michelle exited her office five minutes later headed towards the waiting room. She’s tired and stressed from the long day. Once she opens the door her frown seems to disappear and a smile comes in its place. She’s greeted by 7 of her ‘favorite’ clients who had at one time or another been accused of being substance abusers.
“How was your week, did anyone have any triggers or relapses?” Michelle asked the group. A woman in her mid-thirties did. We’ll call her Aubrey; she talked of how she lost her 6 and a half daughter to ex-boyfriend. She was supposed to get her back, but it’s hard for her to gain custody now due to her previous issues with substance abuse, which was led on because she was in a horrific accident
Michelle is hurt and sad as the woman vents about her everyday life drama, custody battles and court days. The woman then takes a picture out of her daughter and passes it around. There is a bit of a moment of silence. The other clients gave Aubrey what seemed liked thousands of encouraging words, once she admitted giving up faith.
To put a smile on everyone’s face James decided to make a joke, a change the mood when the time is right. Michelle laughed and talked to her clients as if they were old friends. Michelle talked about her job and the stresses of it just as her clients did. This opens up her clients more.
“I like this groups, it’s a breath of fresh air”Michelle seems to be feeling better now than before her group arrived.
Another girl; Amber who is in her early twenties is the group for smoking marijuana. She too had custody battles when it came to her daughters. She explains to Michelle that she has several relapses and triggers because of drama with her ‘babydady.’ Michelle and the other give Amber kind words and encouragement to keep her moving. This is basically what counseling there is about. Not only do they seek help from they’re therapist, but also people who has gone through the same thing as them.
Another topic comes up. “What can you do to get over your relapses and triggers?” Michelle asked.
“I like to BBQ” James said with a grin and the other five guys in room nod their heads in agreement
Several others discuss their problems and Michelle and the other clients present them with solutions. As the time comes to end, Michelle, again looks tired and worn out as she presents a man with a certificate for successfully completing he program. He gets final words of encouragement as he accepts the certificate and vows he’d never go back to his past.
“When it all comes down to it the things that matters most is that you all stay safe, and keep yourself and family out of harm’s way” Michelle say.
In the last few minutes they’re back to talking about everyday life. Michelle looks happy but you can tell she’s tired and stressed. She has sympathy for each of her clients and wants them to do well and succeed in life.
It’s time for everyone to leave now. “That hour went by quick” James says with a smile as he handed Michelle his weekly assignment. She too agrees. The group exited the room just as quickly, but much more loudly than when they entered an hour ago.
Michelle is now free to go home and she’s happier than usual because it’s the beginning of her vacation.
Sherman Hemsley was born on Feb,1,1938 in Philadelphia,Pennsylvania, and departed from this world on July 24, 2012, his cause of death is currently unkown, but it’s believed to be from apparent natural causes. Most popular known by his role as George Jefferson on All in the Family and later The Jeffersons, Hemsley made a name for himself as being a mean and grumpy but successfuly black man in the 1970s. Watch him at his i best here:
I want to send a special congratulations to 16 year-old Gabby Douglas who became the first African American to win the women’s all around in gymnastics and she gave all glory to God. Big ups to a wonderful young black lady who just became a new role model.
“Lift Every Voice and sing till earth and heaven ring, ring with the harmonies of liberty.” These lyrics were written by James W. Johnson in the early 1900s as poem, and were later made into a song when Johnson’s brother added music to the poem. This song quickly became known as; “The Negro National Anthem.” Lyrics and music once meant something in our community and had a significant meaning to it, but that was a long time ago, before we met artist like Khia, Lil Wayne, Trina, etc.
During the 17th century when blacks were slaves and weren’t able to get an education, they relied on doing everything orally. They would make-up folktales/songs to make the time go by, and these were passed down from generation to generation, they were very popular within the African American community. These songs would be about life, religion, becoming free etc. our genre of music has changed dramatically since that time, now whenever I turn my radio on, the lyrics I hear are about sex, disrespect to women, curse words, and several other things that would cause our ancestors to roll over in their graves. Several people in our communities don’t know anything about the genre of music that was once called; “Negro Spirituals.” Negro Spirituals were religious songs sung by slaves. When exactly did music stop being about life and start being about sex?
Rhythm and Blues (R&B) originated in the 1940s. There were bands such as Tympany Five and Wynonie Harris, there lyrics were backed up with different instruments; trumpet, tenor saxophone, piano, bass, etc. Some of their popular songs were Beans & Cornbread which wasn’t about food, but the food identifies friends, saying the friends are like a good meal; “they go hand in hand.” Harris’ song; Good Rocking Tonight (remake), which was about having a good time with a loved one, but also enjoying the rhythm and blues. These songs still had a connection with Negro Spirituals.
In 1979 the first popular Rap/Hip-Hop song was born. Sugarhill Gang amazed the world with Rapper’s Delight. The song was fourteen minutes long and like the Negro Spiritual genre, this song was also about every day life and experiences, but instead of working in the fields, and living as slave this was a song about of living in the ghetto; and situations one must face while living in the ghetto and experiences with friends and family members. By the lyrics that are being rapped, it’s easy to tell that life for African Americans wasn’t the same as the 1900s because the artist didn’t sound lonely and depressed and they were no longer rapping about being free, because they are free.
As time change so does the music, lyrics and musical artist we hear. Today both R&B and Rap music has explicit lyrics, on these songs we hear men disrespect women and women disrespecting themselves. These songs are about being criminals and whores. It’s quite obvious that the artist has an influence over society; whether that influence is negative or positive is solely up to the artist themselves. Today’s music also talks about life, but it’s not always the life of the artist we’re hearing, it’s the life which sale singles and makes money.
One may think that modern day artist don’t know what real music is, it seems as if anyone can talk or yell can be a singer or rapper. Although I have so much negativity to say about this music, and today’s artist I too listen to these artist and their music quite frequently, I’m just open-minded enough to not have the music influence me in any way.
I am a fan of the old timer’s music, and as sit and listen to one of my old school songs and then I’ll listen to a current day and age song. I can’t help wonder where did our good music artist go? I sometimes also wonder if we can ever get some of that old soul back, although I know we won’t. I don’t’ worry about the future of our music, in all honesty, I don’t think it can get any worse.
An unexpected pregnancy is never good, especially when the mother is an 18-year-old soon to be high school graduate. Aja Ellington, a 22-year-old attending Ivy Tech Community College, learned she was pregnant at the end of her first semester during her senior year in high school. Her dreams and her scholarship to play college basketball had to be put on hold. Now that three years has passed since this situation, Ellington is now comfortable and ready to discuss her past, present future and obstacles of being a young and single mom while trying to gain a degree to be a social worker as well as a music contract.
Before she was impregnated, Ellington was an above average student in the medical magnet program at Washington High School. She had an accumulative G.P.A of around 3.1.
Ellington first began rapping when inspired by her loved ones. “My family inspired me to become an artist, throughout my younger years of life believe it or not, I could not rap. My older sisters’ would write songs day after day, and I tingled inside just listening to them. Music in general, has always uplifted me, but music in my family as well as artist Tupac Shakur inspired me to become an artist,” Ellington said. Ellington rapped with friends throughout high school, and the only thing she wanted more than a basketball scholarship was a recording contract, but both things went out the window when her doctor told her she was pregnant, with not one, baby but two babies.
Ellington wasn’t surprised because she, her father, and her children’s father, brother are all twins.
“Becoming a mother changed me in a drastic way starting out. I believed that motherhood came naturally, but boy was I wrong. I went through a lot of painful and hurting times, but I fought through them and I must say being a mother is a lot easier now than when my twins were newborns,” Ellington says with a smile.
Ellington admits it was a struggle, but she can’t understand why a mother would give up that chance. “I sort of laugh when individuals give up on mother hood, complain all of the time, or make excuses as to why they can’t raise their children. I became pregnant at 18 years of age, and the struggle was very hard. I resided in a one bedroom apartment with my kid’s father and the twins after birthing them and it only got worse. I had no visitors from family or friends for a very long time. I felt depressed and suicidal not knowing that I was suffering from postpartum depression. Two feedings, two diaper changes, two sick babies, two everything, I barely had time to take a shower or feed myself. I thought about putting my twins up for adoption, but my heart would not let me. I stuck it out, and am still raising my twins to the best of my ability. They are clean, healthy and want for nothing. Being a mother has matured me in a great way,” Ellington says with a twin on each side of her; a boy and a girl
Ellington quickly learned it was impossible for her to try to maintain a rapping career while tending to her family and going to school. “The most difficult thing I encountered juggling being a mom, a rapper and a student is I have to put my passion for rap on the back burner, I have to make that my last priority,” Ellington seems a bit hurt by it, but she won’t allow it to show.
Although Ellington has dreams of being a rapper, she admits she isn’t ‘hungry’ enough for it, because she fears rejection. “I haven’t crossed too many obstacles when it comes to music due to the fact that I am not hungry enough for it. In a way, I fear getting heard due to criticism, but I know that you must deal with that in any profession, so I am prepared. I guess you can say having as many recorded songs that I have is my achievement.”
One of the reason why Ellington refrains from diving into her music like she knows she can is because of her family. “I can’t really focus on my music career, because I am focusing on raising and providing for my children. My current relationship with my kid’s father also holds me back a bit; a lot of men reside in the music industry and out of respect for him, I have just been taking it slow as far as getting on tracks with guys and visiting males studios.”
Unlike some of the female rappers we hear today, who raps mainly about sex, Ellington isn’t comfortable with rapping about that topic. “My music is usually about what I feel, but not in all cases. Sometimes my music comes out based on what I feel like, for example; angry- aggressive flow, Happy-exited flow, sad- mellow flow. My music expresses me and what I’m made of,” she says as she goes to her video on YouTube and we listen to her song; ‘Luv me In Return.’ The song is just what the title says; she talks about her family and relationships in the song. Ellington rappers like Tupac; “my number one favorite rapper is Tupac Shakur, I can relate to Tupac through the struggle we both have in common. I particularly grew up on his song ‘Dear Momma,’ I never really had a mother, and that song always brought my brothers, sisters and I to tears as we sang it word to word,” as far as the other rappers goes, Ellington just settles. “I never really had particular favorite rappers, but I do like Nicki Minaj, Lil’ Wayne, and Drake; but maybe that’s because that’s all that I hear in society’s music choice.”
Ellington is happy where she is in life and where she is going, though she knows it would be both a dream and complicated if she got her degree and a recording contract. “If I got a music contract and a degree, I honestly don’t see how that would work. A rapper/social worker… I must say the music would def. come first and the social work would be put on hold until I am at a state of mind to balance the two.”
Ellington wants to become social workers to help juveniles who have been situations similar to those of her twin brother.
Ellington has come a long way from where she was three years ago, and she’s proud of it and she’s willing to give others advice whose going through the same thing she’d already been through. “If there is one thing I can tell lost single mothers trying to find their way, it would be to stay strong for you and your child. In a way you must put your life on the back burner. I enjoy myself from time to time, but when I first had my twins, I didn’t even think about hitting a club. You are no longer living for yourself but for the little one. No matter how hard it ever gets, as long as you are motivated to accomplish; you will. And your life will do a major positive turn around.”
I’ve been taking a look down memory lane, watching old movies and I noticed how several people take great care of their bodies. Below are some pictures from celebs now and then. How great do they look?
Earlier today news broke of the 29-year-old mother; Jacole Prince, who allegedly locked her 10-year-old daughter in the closet for several days without; food, water, or a bathroom. When I first heard about I thought it was because she didn’t want kids until I learned Prince also had two other children who from what I know/hear so far was treated good. Neighbors of Prince didn’t even know she had a 3rd child, the child says she wasn’t allowed to go outside but had to stay in the house at all times, and was even at home alone on a few occasions.
After Prince was arrested, an assumed went to FB and try to explain to the media and public exactly what was going on Prince’s life and why her child was in the closet.
“I am a relative of this child and woman that is being accused of all of these heinous crimes. The story is being spun out of hand and the facts aren’t being properly presented! The mom is not innocent of locking her child in a closet but all of the facts are not being properly presented in any of these news castings. People are jumping to conclusions and assuming false things. For starters, the mom is being accused of not giving her daughter a bathroom to go to when this is simply not true. The child has mental problems and regularly goes to the bathroom on herself daily without ever asking to go to the bathroom. Second, the child has been having medical problems since she was about 4 years old. She was a premature baby and has been having trouble gaining weight all of her life. The child was saw to be malnourished by a hospital in 2006 yet she was fed on a regular basis. The child was not taken away from her mom then and all went well. Third, the child has no bottom to her stomach and continuously eats if her eating habits are not being controlled. This has always been the case. She will drink or eat anything that she can get her hands on including bleach, pinesol or any other sort of dangerous products that can cause harm to the child. She was in fact hospitalized in 2006 for drinking pinesol while her mother’s back was turned while she was cleaning her house. Fourth, The mom has no job or money and is living in a house off of the government. She has been doing odd jobs off and on and she doesn’t get any money to support her child’s mental problems. She has tried to get free mental care for the child but was denied. The only mental help the child has been getting is the one the mom has been trying to administer to her herself. Fifth, The mom has been getting severely abused mentally and physically by her boyfriend for years. She has been battered, controlled, cheated on, and raped(allegedly) by this man on several occasions. He doesn’t buy anything for the oldest child simply because it’s not his, while he does so for the ones that are. It is possible that she simply lost control and couldn’t handle the fact that her daughter had a mental and physical condition that embarrassed her so much. And she was probably mentally unstable during the time she was taking care of the child. Not saying that this is why or that it’s right, but I believe this could be the reason why the child was put in the closet, as to prevent her from accessing anything dangerous in the house while she was away from the house or/and to prevent her from seeing the abuse that was going on in the home. And she most likely left her there because she was too embarrassed and afraid to bring her where ever she needed to go(probably down to the store, which she had no car for). I’m not trying to make excuses for the mom, I am simply trying to spread the truth that the media is not bringing to light. The mom had mental issues, which was caused by years of abuse and not being all the way there in the head herself growing up.”
This family member seems to be adding oil to the fire by giving the public, media, of course the law more reasons to believe that the woman is innocent. There is never a reason to lock a child up in closet, let along leave her home by herself. If the mother had so many issues, than she should’ve gave the child up to someone who could care and love her in a way she didn’t or couldn’t do. This alleged member of Prince family isn’t denying that Prince did anything, but making up excuses as to why Prince did what she did. This woman KNOWS her daughter has disability and yet she chose to leave a bottle of pine-sol in the vicinity where isn’t around to monitor it. If what this family member is saying is true and Prince also had mental issues, than maybe she, being a concerned family member should’ve took the children off her hands for a while. It’s a bit hard for me to believe it though because I don’t the STATE letting this woman keep 3 children knowing she is unstable.This breaks my heart that a woman can be so heartless who her own children. The really sad thing is this doesn’t surprise with the society we’re living in today. Although this concerned family member is trying to look out for a family she isn’t presenting her case very well, and if she was that concerned she would’ve stepped in sooner. My love goes out to children of Prince, but as far as anyone else is concerned, I won’t judge until I’m presented with more evidence.
